Joke Abortion Jokes
Abortion is top of mind in the news lately so I'm sharing here some joke material from my current novel CRAY CRAY NAYSHUN available at Amazon>books>"John Omaha"
"As a comedian I have my own issue with abortion. I had a joke that I didn’t want so I decided to abort it. I was in Oklahoma, and I got arrested and charged with murder. Fortunately, the authorities decided that if I told the joke my life would be in danger and so we cut it out.
"Actually, I stole the joke from my sister, so it was technically the result of incest, and I got the abortion.
"Another time I was in Texas when I wanted to abort a joke. I had to fly to California to get the procedure.
"I went to the joke abortion clinic and had to walk a gauntlet of protestors screaming ‘Joke Lives Matter’ and ‘Joke Killer.’
"The Oklahoma law says that life begins at fertilization. So I am asking, when does the life of a joke begin? I was fooling around with the idea of a joke about abortion and then my joke-rod got hard. My joke-pussy was wet and pulled me in. I lost control and came without a joke condom. Seven weeks later I thought of a joke about abortion, but because it was Oklahoma I had to carry it to term. It was an ugly little shit of a joke too, so I “accidentally” dropped it on its head, and it died. The Republicans don’t care if you’re a bad joke parent; they only care about the life of unborn jokes. No jail time.
"So if I’m aware of the injustice of aborting a comedy routine does that make me Joke Woke?
"I’ll make whatever jokes I think of. At least until the Supreme Court revokes the Joke Amendment. I have T-shirts that say, “Pro-choice for jokes.” There’s another one that says, “My jokes, my choice.” These items are for sale in the lobby after the show.
"If you don’t want to abort a joke, then don’t think of anything funny. Now that one is easy for Republicans. They’ve never said anything funny in their lives.
"I worry though. I’d hate to get shot to death for being a Joke Provider."